I Wonder Part II

Some years have passed now.
The textbooks have gotten bigger,
the fairy tales shoved further back
on the shelf.

written February 7, 2001

The pictures of butterflies and
teddy bears are more feded than
they were then.
I have a few more scars and bruises
now,
my heart has a few more dents in it.
Still, I find myself,
clutching my pillow in bed at night
wondering.
Wondering if he's out there.
This man without a face
who haunts my dreams at night.
He takes care of me.
He brushes my hair when I get out
of the shower.
When he knows I've had a long day,
he has a hot bath waiting for me
at home.
When the big big bad world rears it's
ugly head,
he lets me lay my head in his lap
as he holds me
and tells me everything's okay
while I think back to days when
everything was okay.
I wonder if he's real,
and if I were to find him,
if he would love me.
As these thoughts leave my head,
I start to cry.
And soon, I'll drift off to sleep.
But for now,
I wonder.